Dedicated to the man that stood by my side through one of the most challenging beautiful experiences I have ever endured and to my Lord Jesus, for when I was weak, He was made strong.
Dearest Joe Joe,
Remember those times when we sat beside each other at our favorite little coffee shop and allowed our minds to wander to an unknown future. Many dreams and aspirations we had then. We loved to write our goals on little papers as if by writing we could guarantee they would surely become realities. Late nights, early mornings and times in between we would spend wishing, dreaming, hoping. We often talked about becoming parents. Little did we know the kind of children we would take on as ours. Little did we know that we would have to put our marriage through the fire. Still yet our marriage survived, though many doubted, many speculated and wondered, one thing remained intact, our love.
I still can’t understand why I was blessed with such a God-fearing and humble man. I remember the day I found out that inside of me I carried our little love. God slowly sculpting her little being inside of me, I, a canvas for such a beautiful masterpiece. I felt so undeserving, I felt so in awe. Tears filled my eyes as I thought back to that day when I was asked where I wanted to be in 5 years, what I wanted to do with my life and my answer was a simple desire, “to be a mom, to be a wife, to have a husband that loves me unconditionally, to have a real home” I said. “He knows the desires of your heart” said my mentor at the time, “he (your future husband) is closer than you realize”. I didn’t know at the time how close, I didn’t know that down the same road you waited, you too hoping and wishing for the same.
As I reminisce back to that rainy day, back to that week of unknowns I can’t help but to recognize your gentle and loving spirit. That week before our little love arrived. That night where you found me crying in our living room sofa, feeling defeated and overwhelmed, having gone through a week of painful sleepless nights. You came to me and simply said “you’re not alone my love, we’re doing this together”. I remember the day you encouraged me to do what I even doubted I could do, when you took me up the hill and we looked out into the city view and we simply sat and waited. There are moments in life that just mark you and this my love, the birth of our sweet baby girl will forever be one of those precious moments.
As I look back at the photos, my eyes fill with tears. Each and every moment you were there comforting, holding, caressing and loving me with such a deep love. Oh, if only more men were like you my love, if only more men were willing to love their wives in such a way as to take on that pain as their own. If only more men were to love their wives as Christ loves us. You never complained, you never left my side. I so clearly remember the way the raindrops sounded as they hit the windshield and you drove us to the hospital, with your eyes fixated on the finish line, you held my hand tight. You prayed beside me and for me. The way you walked me across that puddled parking lot and through those empty hallways. When we arrived I felt safe because I knew you were beside me, because I knew that God somewhere in time had planned things to happen exactly the way they did in the precise timing they did.
I still hear the doctor so clearly as he walked in and said I had an hour left to show progress otherwise…pitocin, epidural, c-section… It was a distant yet penetrating voice. My eyes were so tired I could barely keep them open but one thing I did capture was that moment. That moment when you, my best friend, humbly walked away, went before the Lord and cried out to Him for a miracle, you asked Him to show Himself and oh how glorious He is, in what a way He did. I remember hearing voices of deceit, of shame and doubt at that time. When our doula, Brooke asked “do you hear lies in your head, do you want to pray?” I nodded with a “yes”. In that precise moment our faith being tested, you, just a room away. I held up my weak and tired hands and simply said “I surrender to you oh Lord. I had no idea we were jointly praying to our Heavenly Father. We were with one voice saying, “Abba, Father, here we are, may your will be done”.
When you came back, your eyes watered, but your head was high, you held me up and we cried together. You whispered to me, “We’ve been through so much more my love, we’ve been told worse”. I remember what peace I felt, how I knew then that everything would be okay, no matter the outcome. Suddenly time paused, together we danced in that labor and delivery room, arm in arm, everyone’s voices muffled, music playing in the distance. You carried the weight of my body and kissed my forehead. What a beautiful moment that was indeed, time stood still. I will never forget what God was orchestrating.
How amazing the way within the hour what had seemingly come to a halt miraculously began to take place. As my bag of waters ruptured and my pain increased, we were closer to the finish line, we were closer to a promise fulfilled. To behold the beauty of the Lord through His creation, our daughter. It is an honor to say that you my love, when the time came, leaped on the bed with me and literally breathed every breath and supported me through every painful push, our bodies in sync. That precise moment was suddenly a culmination of every voice of doubt, negativity, anger, hostility, painful and traumatic memory that I had ever experienced all rushing through me, pushing me to a point of forgiveness, healing, redemption.
After 19 hours of painful back labor, and with one last push, there she lie, on my chest, a promise fulfilled, a prayer answered, heaven’s answer. Penelope “Poppy” Bloom Eomaikalani.
Surely the angels rejoiced with us, how beautiful her sweet little face, her deep brown eyes as she gazed upon us. As she breathed her very first breath in this world. If I ever doubted love at first sight, this would completely reaffirm it’s existence. That week, the events leading up to that day, that moment, that hour, will forever leave me in awe. Because with God all things are possible. No man, no doctor, nurse or midwife knows the hour or day we will enter or leave this earth but He alone. Just as every day of our life is recorded in His book, and every moment laid out. He knew that this would be the day our daughter was to be born and how precious are His thoughts indeed.
Thank you my love, for exemplifying such a love that many men dare not express. In sickness and health, in sorrow and in joy, you loved me just the way I needed to be loved.
With all my love,
“This was never about proving something but rather disproving all the lies I had once been told. That I wasn’t good enough to be a mom, that I wasn’t strong enough to bear the pain. Surely in that moment I was not. It was rather in my moment of weakness that I was able to see with my own eyes and fully experience what it meant to absolutely surrender.” -Betsy
We would like to give a special thank you to everyone that was constantly praying for us during this time & specifically give a shout out to our awesome birth team. Brooke, you rock! Thank you for your constant support & for helping us advocate when things got rough. You are a true blessing! Without both your physical, emotional and spiritual support & might we add, your sense of humor 🙂 we wouldn’t have had this beautiful experience. Teddi Jo & Ty, thank you for coming down and being present during such a pivotal moment in our life. Tedd, your calm, gentle presence was a gift from above. We may have had few words but we truly are grateful you our bestie was near to me and held my hand. Now I can truly say you have seen me at my best & worst. Mom, thank you for bringing me into this world. Now, I can say I have experienced with my own flesh what it means to become a mother.